The Groupon Story
A few years ago, I heard about a cool new company called Groupon. Here’s their story:
Groupon: Hey, business owner. We have an email list with a lot of people who like cheap stuff. How about you pay us to sell your stuff to them really cheap? Even though this is pretty much the opposite of targeted marketing, you’ll get a whole bunch of new customers!
Business owner: New customers? Yeah, let’s do it.
Me: Cheap stuff? Sweet. Sign me up.
……..Later……
Business owner: This isn’t working. I paid you, almost gave away a bunch of stuff, and I don’t have new customers. They’re all waiting for the next Groupon deal, because they just like cheap stuff.
Groupon: Oh. It’ll work better next time!
Business owner: No. Because I’m broke and had to close my business.
Me: Where is all my cheap entertainment?
Groupon: Yeah, about that…here, we have some cheap disposable razor sharpeners
Me: No, really.
Groupon: How about we give you five dollars?
Me: To buy weight loss hot pants or a container of water with microorganisms growing in it**? Thanks, but no.
Groupon: This isn’t working.
*These items were actual Groupon deals within the last year.
**Groupon deals available as of this writing.
